Sexual humor-is it okay?

What's okay to say to someone?  What is okay for someone to say to you?

It's less and less clear for many of us.

Not long ago, my wife Beth and I were at an event where we met and talked with a couple that we didn't know.  They were totally fun to talk to, but there were a few moments that bothered me.  A couple times the guy made humorous sexual comments.  In one case my wife said something random and the guy jokingly took it in a sexual direction.  Admittedly, it was funny and we all chuckled.

The comments were purely in jest and weren't personal, but still, I thought, why does this guy think making sexual comments around my wife is okay?  (not to mention the fact that his girlfriend was there as well).

Now, I'll be honest, the way my wife worded what she said was accidentally funny because it sounded like a double entendre (a simple phrase that can be misconstrued sexually).  But here's the difference: I didn't say it out loud, but the other guy did.

Sexual humor is funny.  As a married person it is something that can become a fun, flirty part of your relationship with your spouse.  But wisdom has taught me: you must be careful about it.  When in mixed company (guys and girls), it's just, well, inappropriate.  I know, it's such a 'teacher'/'parent' word.  But I use it because, honestly, it has an appropriate time.  We all laugh about things that make us uncomfortable.  It's part of life.  The question is: when is it inappropriate?

If you're a guy, I get it: our sex drives are a very, very powerful part of our makeup.  That's not bad.  Our Father designed us that way.  We are more likely to joke sexually because it's on our minds a lot!  However, girls are different.  They experience their sexual side in a very different way and making sexual jokes will not (did you hear? NOT) be a turn on to them.

Sexually-laced texts and comments about their bodies in texts will not be taken romantically.  Let me put it straight-forward: it's wrong.  It makes girls feel unsafe, even violated.

If you want to communicate you're attracted to a girl, do what girls like (not necessarily what you as a

guy would like): be sweet, ask questions, encourage her, be funny, open up to her, compliment her.

Even if you're not attracted to a girl you're around it is still inappropriate to make sexual jokes.  She's still a woman and should be respected.

If you're a girl, first, it's important to recognize that most guys are not 'perverts'.  God made the male sex drive quite prominent in their thoughts.  They have to learn to hold back those thoughts and actions.  Most guys learn this through good parenting, role models, and spiritual growth, but not always.

On the other hand, you don't have to act like you like sexual comments or jokes.  In fact, it would be ideal for you to say you don't appreciate them upfront if a guy starts doing it.  I know that is hard to do socially, though.  If nothing else, ignore them or drop subtle hints of disapproval through facial expressions or comments.  You're a lady, and you deserve to be treated like one no matter what your age.

I think the above is true whether you are a Jesus follower or not, but even more so, for those of us who follow Christ, we want to act, as Paul once put it, "above reproach."  Men and women are different-that's a beautiful thing-but let's respect it too.