Girls, guys are different!

Guys and girls are different.

You're probably thinking: duh.

This just means you haven't gone to college yet.

See in college they will work hard to convince you, like my college philosophy professor did, that there are no differences between men and women besides physical ones. 

However, common sense tells us reality in this case.  Here is a great example.

Girls, have you ever noticed how, when you have things on your mind, you really want to talk about it, get it out, journal, talk to a friend, or any other means of communication? 

Have you noticed, though, that the men in your life, whether a dad, brother, friend, or boyfriend, tends to 'go away' when he is upset? 

Guys are problem solvers by nature.  They are always solving things.  In fact, they'd love to solve your problem too if you let them! 

So, when a guy has a problem, he wants to solve it, and he wants to solve it so much that he will put

 all of his effort and focus into it.  This is why it will seem like he's ignoring you or blowing off what you need.  Unlike you, he can't focus on a lot of things at once.

So he goes into his 'cave.'  That looks different for each guy, but somehow he zeroes in on his issue.  He may prefer being alone more, or being quiet, or doing lots of thinking.  It may seem like he is saying he doesn't care about you.  But don't believe that!  This is what he must do to deal with his problem.  It won't last forever either.  Give him his space and respect his need to detach for a time and he will come out of his cave, grateful.

Also, because a guy wants to solve his problem himself, don't give him advice unless he asks.  He may very well ask, but he needs to feel free to do so without feeling like you'll tell him anyway.

When he is worn out in his solving, he will need to recharge by "doing stuff" like video games, or sports, playing guitar, or watching TV.  He needs that. 

So, as a girl, it can be difficult to relate to someone going away when they have problems, because it is the opposite of what you would do, but you will win the trust of the men who love you if you express confidence in their ability to solve their problems in their 'cave.' 

The great news is that, if a guy learns to trust you, he will also be able to learn to bring you into his struggles and share with you as well.