Perks 3: Get Physical

When you’re a little kid you’re always asking “Why can’t I do that?”  “Why can’t I have that?”  Why?  Why?  As you get a little older you start asking “When can I do that?”  “When can I have that?”  When?  When? 

Slowly, as you age, you reach the stage of “when” you can have somethings.  That happens because either you finally have permission to do it or the opportunity (whether or not you’ve received permission).  Here’s where so much goes south: we forget why because we can.  Once the question “When?” is answered we are so quick to ignore the original question of “Why?”

I found the story of Charlie’s relationship with Mary Elizabeth to be really funny.  She gives him all

these books and talks incessantly about all her ideas, but never lets Charlie talk.  Then she basically initiates their physical connection and this becomes the main thing in their relationship, even though Charlie doesn’t really like her. 

I also thought their story was pretty sad because I’ve seen it happen in real life.  And…it happened to me.  I started dating this one girl in high school and it was good for a while, but soon we learned that making out was pretty fun.  So that’s pretty much what we did when we got together (after watching TV of course).  There was no sex or anything close to it. 

The thing is that I reached a point where I knew that she was not the kind of person I wanted to ultimately marry.  Please hear me: this was not because she was bad or anything.  To be honest, she was a great girl and whoever married her was a lucky man.  She just wasn’t the personality type that would work with mine.  The funny part is that even though I came to realize this, we still made out again and again.

This is kind of Charlie and Mary Elizabeth’s situation.  They started dating and getting to know each other (which is the point of dating, right?), but Mary Elizabeth pushed them into the physical before they really knew if they were good for each other.  He hardly knows her, but they’re having sex together pretty often.  Charlie is still not sure he even likes her.  In fact, he reaches a point where he knows that he truly does not like her!

So, back to the question: Why?  Why do we get so physical so fast?  Why does that complicate things?  What is the actual purpose of getting physical? 

I’m going to follow that one up next time.