Top Teen Topics 1: Appearance

I asked one of my classes: "What are the biggest issues on the minds of teens your age (14-15)?"  I thought I'd hit each one in the next few posts.

One that came up frequently was: appearance.

There are so many reasons for our looks to be a source of angst.  Why?

We know people (including us!) judge others by their looks.

We know looks play a role in getting a date.

We know looks can get you in and out of friend circles.

Most of us have been embarrassed at one time or another by our looks.

Wisdom from an old dude:

I have been teaching 14-15 year olds for one and half decades.  I've seen them grow up.  Let me tell you: you will look better with age.  

Scrawny little, squeeky freshmen boys become buff, low-voiced men in a very short amount of time. 

Cute, pony-tailed freshmen girls become beautiful, confident young women.  If you put a freshmen guy or girl next to their 20 year old self, you'd be surprised that they're the same people. 

So, relax.  The acne won't last forever and your body will round out quite well without much effort.  

Body type also has a lot to do with your family DNA.  Some people eat like a vacuum cleaner on chore day but still never top 110.  Others gain weight by just looking at the candy machine.  Look at your family members.  They are your destiny.  If you're not thrilled by that destiny you may have to work at avoiding it.  

There are a lot of ways to look better.  The most prominent is to eat better.  Teens eat a lot, and eat a lot of 'junk food.'  Hey, I like it too, but I've learned to curb it and only eat it occasionally.  Start a regular exercise routine like running, biking, walking, or going to a gym.  I have been running for a long time and have added going to the rec three times a week. 

You know what makes even more of an impression?  Clothes and hair.  I have seen very unattractive skinny people and very impressive-looking heavier people, all because of their wardrobe and hair.  

Celebrities, if you've ever seen them without makeup and so on, look surprisingly like normal people you see everyday.  It's all how they're 'done up' that makes them seem so amazing (oh, and having million-dollar hair stylists and designers that want you to showcase their clothes doesn't hurt).  

You don't have to be famous to have style.  If you grew up in a family that doesn't tend to value style (and that's okay!) you may need to ask a friend what would look good on you, save up some money, and go shop or get a new doo.  Sometimes it just takes a risk to buy something trendier than you're used to.  Try it out.  Explore what makes you feel good about your looks.

I must tell you that I had very little sense of style as a teen and young 20-something, and my wife still fell in love with me!  She taught me all about style after the fact so now I like how I look much better than I did when I was younger (even though I have less hair!).

Here are some lingering questions:

Is it really a big deal, though, how you look?

When does it go too far?

I'm just getting started, so I'll hit those soon.