Myth #5: Good looks are the key to finding a good guy/girl

Image is important, yes.  But, here’s what’s really important: Becoming a person, hear that: a person, that is attractive.  It may seem like the best ways to win a guy are to show that you can party and are willing to hang all over him regardless of morals-that’s what our media tells young people at least-but a real “catch” is a girl who knows how to be fun, playful, sweet, inviting, and yet has dignity, knows how to stand up for what she believes in, has a real relationship with God, and has a life all her own without needing a guy to make her happy all the time. 

Ok, that may be a tall order for anyone.  We’re all in progress and we all have varying personalities that make some of these attributes more difficult or easier to come by. 

Anyway, these were the traits I was looking for when I met the girl who I married.  Honestly, I think she dresses more attractive today than she did back when I met her.  What I mean is that, yes she was good-looking, but her personality, the way she held herself, the passion she had for the Lord, her sweet, funny spirit, was the thing that attracted me to want to marry her.  I loved that we could laugh together and also have important conversations. 

I remember that when I would see her she would ask “How are you?”  Then we would talk.  Then, later in the conversation, she would ask “So, how are you really?”  I was blown away that this girl wanted to talk beyond the surface and had the guts to ask!  And, mind you, this was before we were dating. 

This equally applies to guys.  Yes, flirting has its place (I should say “flirting that is not degrading or done in a way that takes advantage), but the best way to attract the kind of girl you really want is to be a guy that can be trusted, that has a listening ear, that knows how to treat a girl with respect, kindness, and yes, as the saying goes “like a princess.”  You know what most girls really want: a guy that knows how to communicate.  Learn how to talk about how your day was or what you are thinking…AND to ask others about those things. 

You might think: The girls always fall for bad guys.  Or guys always go for the girls who flaunt their bodies.  Just because a lot people make bad choices, doesn’t mean you should change to turn into one of those choices.  On one hand, even ‘nice guys’ can learn to become adventurous (in positive ways) and even ‘plain girls’ can learn to express their femininity in a way that still feels comfortable.  And, yet, if you’re patient, smart girls will ditch the bad boys eventually and look for ‘good guys.’  And smart guys will eventually find ‘good girls’ to be the hottest thing out there.