Perks 4.5: sexual abuse

One thing has continued to nag me about my previous post.  It’s about the Aunt Helen issue.  In the book, Charlie’s aunt, whom he likes very much, had actually molested him.  Charlie didn’t realize this until the end of the novel because he had subconsciously blocked it out. 

In my previous post I was acknowledging how Christ-like it was that Charlie could be harmed at such a deep level by his aunt and still find it in his heart to see her humanity and try to understand her. 

But this cannot be the whole story. 

I’ve known too many real life situations like this and simply forgiving and ‘understanding’ someone who takes advantage of someone sexually is not God’s full desire.  One of my wife’s closest friends was molested by a neighbor as a child.  Later, after she was raising her own family, she discovered that her father was touching her children in inappropriate ways while babysitting. 

I have known students at LW who were touched in ways they didn’t want while on a date.  Another one even got pregnant by her father and then had an abortion.  Yet, another one was lured into things by an admiring sports coach (not from LW).  Then, of course, there are countless students who deal with getting unwanted sexually-charged texts.

This is a real issue, and a serious one.  In the previous post I mentioned the woman caught in adultery.  It’s easy to think kindly of her because we all feel bad that she was on the verge of being stoned.  But let’s remember that she was in the process of wrecking two marriages, her own and the other man’s.  In addition, think of the pain that this would bring on the children each of them had as they eventually discovered the breakdown of their parents’ marriages.

This is why, after Jesus has compassion and protects her, he concludes by saying, “Go and sin no more.” 

In the situation of my wife’s friend, she has had to put limits on her father’s opportunity to see their kids.  When they are with them, they will not let her dad be with his grandchildren without being present. 

One of the students I mentioned earlier was the one with the courage to call out the man who took advantage of her.  He had done the same to many others, but one girl had to make the tough choice to do something.  She has had to deal with going to court and testifying against him.  But think of the many girls she has saved who would have been taken advantage of if she had never spoken. 

None of this part of the issue is really addressed in Perks, but I really felt the need to say, if you are or have been taken advantage of sexually (physically or verbally), find someone you trust and tell them.  It’s time to stop being hurt.