Chasing a spiritual high

I've had some pretty cool "God experiences" in my life.  It's tempting to always want to have them happen again.  In fact, sometimes you think you should be living the spiritual-high feeling all the time.  I've found that this isn't real life spiritually or in any other human relationship for that matter.  The following is a blog post by a guy I really respect named Wayne Jacobsen.  I hope it gives you a new perspective like it did for me.

Life Happened Here Once

It’s an amazing moment when a butterfly hatches from her chrysalis, flexes her wings until they dry, and then takes flight discovering what it is like to be a butterfly instead of a caterpillar.  We get to enjoy this little miracle in Sara’s garden almost every year. But it never happens at the same place twice.

Sometime next month thousands of people are set to gather in a stadium in Southern California on the 110th Anniversary of the beginning of the Azusa Street Revival in hopes of gathering 100,000 people to   call down a great, last-day revival.  This is only the most recent of numerous attempts to get God to act, all driven by “words from the Lord” and interpretations of dreams in hopes that some day “stadium Christianity” will take over the world where gatherings of Christians will replace sports contests in our largest stadiums.

Everywhere I’ve gone on this trip I’ve been asked what I make of all this and if I’m involved.  I’m not. Honestly, I don’t find the prospect very engaging for a number of reasons. Jesus seemed to want us to make prayer a private matter not a public display. He seemed to indicate that praying with 100,000 people has no more power than two or three agreeing in his name.  I also find it strange that the 110th (really, not 100th?) anniversary of a past moment of God’s visitation would be significant to God in any way.  I also find a large crowd of people trying to “call down” revival seems more reminiscent of Baal’s prophets trying to call down their false god, rather than Elijah’s simple proclamation that God simply make himself known as the one, true God. (I Kings 18)

Jesus never indicated that praying in large gatherings would usher in a world-wide revival. He said that when we were loved enough by him to love others in the same way the whole world would come to know who he is. That’s where I want to invest my time and attention.

Thus I am not looking for some great revival as just another “event” that will have it’s day in the sun then fade away like all the others. In fact, I see revival happening all over the world right now.  I see spiritual hunger emerging and tens of thousands of people that I know, opening to God in a fresh way, learning to live in his love and share it with others freely.  Something amazing is already happening that is not controlled or promoted by humanity and yet is filled with the richness of the Living Jesus. I find that much more engaging.  So, no, I’m not involved nor do I have any hope that this event just won’t be another in a long line of prayer meetings, summits, and rallies that smell more of human effort than the fresh wind of the Spirit.

Of course, I could be wrong about this. God might actually be leading them and something significant will happen that day. I’ll be the first to apologize if I’m wrong, but I’ve never seen this kind of thing fulfill the promises of its organizers. It may feel spectacular while people are there, but they will go back to their homes and wonder what it was all about. This is not the way God seems to work.  And by that I am not casting aspersions on the hopes or motives of those who feel inclined to plan or attend these events. For the most part I know them to be well-intentioned people who sincerely want God to do something in our day.  But I am not hopeful that this is the means to the end that they want, or even that the revival they are looking for is very different from what he is already doing in the world to draw people to himself without named celebrities on the stage.

I don’t chase these things around any more than I hang out beside a spent chrysalis hoping another butterfly will emerge. Life happened there once and it will not do so again. When another butterfly hatches it will come from another place, at another time.

Maybe our traditions are simply hanging around old places where God worked once, hoping he will work there again rather than following him to see what he is doing now. How much energy and effort is wasted by those who hope God will do something he did once again and again in the same way and come away disappointed and disillusioned when their efforts bear little fruit?

Maybe God has moved on and life is happening somewhere else. Because, as Jesus said, “My Father is always working.”

Maybe we’re just looking in the wrong place.

The Crap & Splendor of Christmas

Horoscope readers
Low-income laborers
Teenage mother
Uneducated trade worker
Pungent farm animals

These were the guests of the very first Christmas party.  They translate as:
The Magi
The shepherds
Mary
Joseph
The animals

The scene is so cutesy in the paintings, but when you think of someone giving birth in this dark, unsanitized setting, you can see it wasn't pretty at all.

The God of the universe, the majestic One, the Creator.  How does He come?  Like this?  Seriously?

Here's why it matters: one of the greatest gifts we get from Jesus life on this earth was that He showed us the Father.  He made it crystal clear, just what God was actually like.

And here we see God's heart: One that humbles Himself so as to be with us in our life-in the midst of all it's crap and splendor.  The Father is FOR us.

This is a tiding of comfort...and joy.

Merry Christmas.

Noah: cute story or mass murder?

Sometimes, when we look again at biblical occurrences without Sunday School blinders, we may find that they are much more complicated than we think.

Take the story of Noah and the ark.  Is this a story about cute animals on a boat or the story of an angry, irrational God lashing out and destroying men, women, and children indiscriminately?

This radio show podcast addresses these issues in a logical and analytical way.  I think you'll find it insightful, provocative, and even entertaining.  Dennis Prager is a Jewish radio show host.  He also plays several quotes by noted atheist Bill Maher.

Is it lust 2

I wanted to make a small clarification about the Brad Watson article that many of you read the other day.  Let me compare lust to anger.

Jesus says in Matthew 5 that “You have heard that it was said to our people long ago, ‘You must not murder anyone.' Anyone who murders another will be judged.’  But I tell you, if you are angry with a brother or sister, you will be judged.”

Is Jesus really saying that we should never be angry at someone?  By “angry” we mean feeling frustration at someone else for what they have done.  Of course, we can’t believe that’s what Jesus is talking about.  Being realistic tells us, He must mean something else.

Most of us would come to this conclusion: Jesus is saying that just because you don’t kill someone, doesn’t mean it’s okay to be nasty to them, speak ill of them, swear at them, or hope you can do wrong to them.  It is the ACTIONS that flow from a HEART that desires to harm, not our THOUGHTS. 

In other words, “Okay, fine, you haven’t murdered that boy that made fun of you, but you harm God’s heart still by talking nasty about him at lunch and looking for ways to embarrass him, if you could.”

The same is the case with lust.  Jesus says, “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’  But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”

Jesus is not saying, “Don’t have sexual thoughts” or “Don’t be turned on by the sight of attractive people.”  He is saying, “Just because you don’t have sex with this other person, doesn’t mean it’s okay to make them feel uncomfortable with unwanted touches, or looks, or unwanted flirting.  Just because it doesn’t work, when you try to get them into a sexual situation, doesn’t mean you didn’t hurt the Father’s heart.” 

It is the ACTIONS that flow from a HEART that desires to take advantage of others.

Also, we must remember that Jesus is targeting married people.  Jesus was speaking to people in a time, when it wasn’t unusual for a man to have to leave his wife for long periods of time (because of slow travel or work etc.).   This left wives at home alone, unprotected, and vulnerable in a male-dominated society.  In essence, he was probably saying to some of the men, “You know that woman who is your neighbor whose husband is gone right now?  Just because you haven’t succeeded in seducing her, you have already harmed your Father’s heart by trying.” I suspect that Jesus was targeting this situation more than anything.

Longing to feel okay

Don't you hate that feeling?
The one where you feel like crap.
The one where you wonder why anyone would like you.
The one where you seem like such a screw up.
The one where it seems like you're not good enough for anyone.

I hate it too.
But I used to feel it a lot more often.  In fact, these days it's pretty rare for me.

Check out the following quote I heard on a podcast recently:

The moment your well-being is hinged to another person's response, you will manipulate them.

To manipulate is to try and make someone else do something by pressuring or tricking them.  Most of us wouldn't manipulate to get money, but we do when we need to feel okay.

We pressure, we threaten, we cry, we yell, we give the silent treatment, we ignore-whatever it takes to get someone's attention that we really crave.  And we crave it because we cannot feel good about ourselves without it.

When God gave the commandment: "You shall not have any other gods before me" he was not being self-absorbed.  He was being smart...for our sake.

You see, when we stake our well-being in anybody we are setting that person up as a god, as our source of meaning.  Naturally, they can never completely come through when we need it, so we then get mad and manipulate them to get what we want from them.  In the process, in the long term, we slowly deteriorate the relationship.

But when, as David said, "My soul finds rest in God alone" (Psalm 62), then we can live without manipulation, because as we learn to rest our souls in God, we are free to enjoy people without needing them to make us happy.

The Fault in our Stars...er Selves

Two years back I read The Fault in Our Stars.  The title, as I see it, really means "The Fault with

God."  It's an understandable issue, especially for the characters who are struggling to find a reason for the existence of their lives and the universe mixed with the fact that they are teens terminally ill with cancer.

I wanted to turn the question of fault, though, to ourselves.

Many of us, who grow up in church often hear phrases about The Fault in Ourselves like this:

You are a poor, miserable sinner.

Don't trust yourself because you are fallen.

Your heart is deceitful above all things.

Jesus, I want less of me, and more of you.

You are nothing, God is everything.

This seems so pious, so religious, so good, but it's also problematic.  If taken to its full course, you might as well say, I'm a pile of crap that can't do anything good, so Jesus should inhabit my body and turn me into a God-robot.

Didn't Jesus say, "My sheep know my voice" (John 10:27)  and "You don't need anyone to teach you." (1 John 2:27) and "shine like stars" (Phil. 2:15)?  This means that Jesus actually trusts His followers.  He knows that they know him, like they know anyone they love, and even have the ability to follow His heart and ways even without constant instruction.

On the other hand, yes, we must recognize our inherent faults or weaknesses.  This is beneficial in any relationship.  I have to be honest with my wife.  She knows my weaknesses.  She knows how I can get overstressed, for example, or how sometimes I avoid asking for help, when I really should.

So, I think we need a balance here.

I am not a worthless piece of sinning crap; I am an invaluable son of the living God.
While I am an invaluable son of the living God, I still need His grace to follow Him.
And yet, the more I live in the Father's affection, the more I naturally live in ways that honor Him and bless others.

And, guess what? He even trusts me.  Weird, right?  But the Father's love does that-it makes you become the person He always dreamed you could be.

Should, Want, & God

So recently I spoke in chapel about the value of worship in God's heart.  I've been asked to give a
"Why worship" chapel at the beginning of the school year for probably 5 years now.  I always struggle with the tension between: "You should sing" and "I encourage you to want to sing."

You could apply the "should"/"want" dichotomy to almost anything related to our relationship to Father.

For me, when I was younger, I was so good at doing what I "should" do that it also hardened my heart and I didn't feel close to God.

When I finally let myself experience Father's affection and felt truly loved (once I really believed I (1.) needed that love and (2.) didn't have to earn it), then I found the pleasure of "wanting" the things that my Father loved.

I guess I'd put it like this: I "should" be sweet to my wife, but if I lived my relationship to her with all "shoulds" she would know it and it would lose its real value.

What she wants and truly loves is when I "want" and take delight in her and being sweet to her.

I think this is why Paul wrote, "God LOVES a CHEERFUL giver."

Katy Perry tweets from the Bible?

Every once in a while, instead of writing my own post, I copy another one that I really liked from someone else.  I thought this was an interesting look at a celebrity, her faith (or not), and what that means for our own.  The article originally appeared here.

65 million Twitter followers saw it. Before the halftime show of the recent (and most watched) Super

Bowl, Pop Superstar Katy Perry quoted Psalm 118:24,

“Today is the day that the Lord has made! I will rejoice and be glad in it.”

Then according to her, this happened, “It’s funny, I was praying and I got a word from God and He says, ‘You got this and I got you.’ 

And then I was on top of the lion and a guy, a random guy, just looked on me with a headset that I’ve never communicated with before and he just looked me straight in the eyes and said, ‘You got this.’ And I was like, ‘Oh, this is God confirming I can do this.”

The religious critics were unleashed! Like hounds they sniffed for the heresy of her words. And filled with righteous anger they said, “How could God speak to such a sensuous and evil person?” “Of course it wasn’t God! She’s a rebellious, divorced, LGBT defender who has abandoned the one true faith.” “She’s stupid and part of the Illuminati!”

Maybe.

Maybe it was her own mind who made it up. Maybe it was the devil tricking her. Or maybe it was God. Because maybe (just maybe) He still speaks to those who are broken and afraid. Maybe God is still a father, and maybe He still likes to encourage. People will say that it is impossible for God to be nice to Katy Perry right before she was about to sing “I kissed a girl and I liked it” in front of millions of people. But if God refrained from speaking to humans based on the proximity of their next sin, trust me friend, no one would ever get to hear His voice.

Who knows? Maybe God said those things because,

His kindness leads us to repentance.

I believe the God of the Bible is interested in being the God of the people. And Jesus proved that by not setting a new religious standard but actually signing for us, a new contract of relationship. It is very clear that Jesus came for the lost. That was His mission. (Maybe we should join Him, because that includes us.)

Katy Perry still has a tattoo that reads “Jesus” on her left wrist. She got the tattoo as a constant reminder of her religious upbringing, which will always be a part of her. In 2009 she told Katie Couric “I knew I wanted this on me because no matter how much changes around me or how much I change, there’s not really an eraser for this.” She says that when she plays the guitar, “It stares right back at me. It’s like ‘remember, you came from this, and you can always go back to it.’”

Yes she can–Always come back. But the better news is that God has never left her. He’s always available, to all His children, whether they are home or they are drifting.

And if we are so sure that Katy Perry can’t hear the voice of God then we need to question the Burning Bush for the murderer Moses, or the encounter on the road to Damascus for the terrorist Saul, or the multiple times the adulterous King David entered the presence of God. You see, Scripture is full of undeserving hearers who somehow (just before or after sinning) got to hear God’s voice, and their lives were changed forever.

Long before Katy was singing about kissing girls, she used her talents as a “Christian singer.” (And you can buy her Christian album as Katy Hudson in Amazon – for more than $100 dollars!) She once told Vanity Fair that as a child, her parents, both evangelical pastors, wouldn’t read any book to her other than the Bible and refused to let her listen to non-religious music. So she questioned Christianity from an early age.

In a 2013 interview Perry said that she no longer identifies with a specific religion, but still feels that she has a connection with God. “I’m not a Buddhist, I’m not a Hindu, I’m not a Christian, but I still feel like I have a deep connection with God,” Perry said. “I pray all the time for self-control, for humility. There’s a lot of gratitude in it. Just saying ‘thank you’ sometimes is better than asking for things.”

So I’m not sure, but I want to believe God spoke to Katy. I want to believe He’s still speaking to her right now! Because that’s my hope for everyone who is lost or broken or famous or perfect, that they will hear the vibrations of love and the sounds of Salvation Himself.

Perry’s dad, Keith Hudson, is a pastor in California, and has said that he’s proud of his daughter, despite previously criticizing the messages in her music. (And that’s probably similar to what God the Father would say.)

I believe Jesus wants to share so much redemption and beauty with Katy Perry. So I pray that she would continue to remember the good seeds planted by her mom and dad (and forgive all the bad ones). But most of all, I pray that we the church would continue to focus on the plank in our eye, instead of the speck in everyone elses.

Yes, I’m always tempted to judge the ridiculous excitement we feel when someone on TV says the

word, “God”. But somehow I feel hopeful about this one. I don’t feel hopeful because I want her 65 million Twitter followers to hear about her, “Born Again Experience.” I feel hopeful because I know that God loves His daughter. I know that He’s been there when she’s ignored Him. And I know that His mercy has been new through her brokeness and shame.

Just as He has done for me. Just as He has done for you.

So let’s join sister Katy and declare with a smile,

“Today is the day that the Lord has made! I will rejoice and be glad in it!”

Now maybe (just maybe) we will also get to hear His sweet encouraging voice.

Peace.

Why can't I find happiness?

When I was a kid there were so many rusty cars on the road.  It was just normal.  Today, though, it's

really odd to see a rusty jalopy.

We live in a world where everything is new.  Old, at least in the tech world, is like what, 1 year old?

I was thinking about this sentence that Paul wrote back in the first century AD, "For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.  So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

It's so hard to remember that the really meaningful things and the most powerful things are really invisible.  We have so much flashy stuff and it's so hard to not get caught up in the newness of it all.

Paul, though, is writing to people who didn't have a Home Depot and therefore had homes that perpetually crumbled before them.  I wonder if it was easier for them to fix their eyes on what is unseen.  Maybe not, considering Paul wrote to them the above words.

So, you're a teen and the commercial world wants to convince you that your happiness resides in the newest whatever: iPhone, outfit from Forever21, video game, shoes.

Let Paul's lines call to your invisible self to place your vision, your hope, your desires in what is unseen.  I think you'll find that the order of the world will fall into place.

Does it matter what I watch, play, or listen to? Part 2

I knew a guy in high school that was an avid guitar player like myself.  One day I had my guitar

sitting around at play practice and he asked if he could play it.  He wanted to show me that he had learned the song "Highway to Hell" by AC/DC. 

I don't recall how I got out of it, but I did not want him to play that 'bad' song on my guitar.  Something in me thought it would contaminate my instrument or something.  I look back on it now and realize it was a bit silly.

Back in the first century early Christians had a somewhat similar dilemma.  Most people around them were pagans.  They worshipped numerous gods.  One way they did this was to sacrifice animals to them.  Well, that left a lot of meat, so, apparently, butchers would chop up the animal and sell the meat at the market. 

The trouble is that some followers of Christ were a little bothered by this.  They didn't want to eat meat that had previously been sacrificed to some false god or even a demon.  Some went as far to say that it was better to only eat vegetables in order to not get mixed up with this 'defiled' practice.

As we're considering how a Christ-follower can relate to various forms of entertainment, watch how Paul dealt with the meat issue in Romans 14.  It's clear that he's addressing a group of believers who strongly disagree with each other on this topic.  I'll follow up in the next post with how this can apply to video games, movies, music, and so forth.

"Welcome with open arms fellow believers who don’t see things the way you do. And don’t jump all over them every time they do or say something you don’t agree with—even when it seems that they are strong on opinions but weak in the faith department. Remember, they have their own history to deal with. Treat them gently.

^"For instance, a person who has been around for a while might well be convinced that he can eat anything on the table, while another, with a different background, might assume he should only be a vegetarian and eat accordingly. But since both are guests at Christ’s table, wouldn’t it be terribly rude if they fell to criticizing what the other ate or didn’t eat? God, after all, invited them both to the table. Do you have any business crossing people off the guest list or interfering with God’s welcome? If there are corrections to be made or manners to be learned, God can handle that without your help.

⁵ Or, say, one person thinks that some days should be set aside as holy and another thinks that each day is pretty much like any other. There are good reasons either way. So, each person is free to follow the convictions of conscience.

^6-9 What’s important in all this is that if you keep a holy day, keep it for God’s sake; if you eat meat, eat it to the glory of God and thank God for prime rib; if you’re a vegetarian, eat vegetables to the glory of God and thank God for broccoli. None of us are permitted to insist on our own way in these matters. It’s God we are answerable to—all the way from life to death and everything in between—not each other. That’s why Jesus lived and died and then lived again: so that he could be our Master across the entire range of life and death, and free us from the petty tyrannies of each other.

^10-12 So where does that leave you when you criticize a brother? And where does that leave you when you condescend to a sister? I’d say it leaves you looking pretty silly—or worse. Eventually, we’re all going to end up kneeling side by side in the place of judgment, facing God. Your critical and condescending ways aren’t going to improve your position there one bit. Read it for yourself in Scripture:

“As I live and breathe,” God says,

    “every knee will bow before me;
Every tongue will tell the honest truth
    that I and only I am God.”

So tend to your knitting. You’ve got your hands full just taking care of your own life before God.

^13-14 Forget about deciding what’s right for each other. Here’s what you need to be concerned about: that you don’t get in the way of someone else, making life more difficult than it already is. I’m convinced—Jesus convinced me!—that everything as it is in itself is holy. We, of course, by the way we treat it or talk about it, can contaminate it.

^15-16 If you confuse others by making a big issue over what they eat or don’t eat, you’re no longer a companion with them in love, are you? These, remember, are persons for whom Christ died. Would you risk sending them to hell over an item in their diet? Don’t you dare let a piece of God-blessed food become an occasion of soul-poisoning!

^17-18 God’s kingdom isn’t a matter of what you put in your stomach, for goodness’ sake. It’s what God does with your life as he sets it right, puts it together, and completes it with joy. Your task is to single-mindedly serve Christ. Do that and you’ll kill two birds with one stone: pleasing the God above you and proving your worth to the people around you.

^19-21 So let’s agree to use all our energy in getting along with each other. Help others with encouraging words; don’t drag them down by finding fault. You’re certainly not going to permit an argument over what is served or not served at supper to wreck God’s work among you, are you? I said it before and I’ll say it again: All food is good, but it can turn bad if you use it badly, if you use it to trip others up and send them sprawling. When you sit down to a meal, your primary concern should not be to feed your own face but to share the life of Jesus. So be sensitive and courteous to the others who are eating. Don’t eat or say or do things that might interfere with the free exchange of love.

^22-23 Cultivate your own relationship with God, but don’t impose it on others. You’re fortunate if your behavior and your belief are coherent. But if you’re not sure, if you notice that you are acting in ways inconsistent with what you believe—some days trying to impose your opinions on others, other days just trying to please them—then you know that you’re out of line. If the way you live isn’t consistent with what you believe, then it’s wrong.

 

Don't tell me "God loves you"

All my life I've worked with teens. 

Also, my committed spiritual life began as a teen.

So, I'm always thinking about how to relate spiritual ideas to the teen mind.

Today, I was thinking something and I wonder if it's correct (pardon this stream of consciousness approach in this blog post).

Teens want a God that loves them, but not in a parental way, or a smothering or overbearing parental way. 

A teen is living in the process of becoming independent.  They want to do things on their own and create their own destinies and make their own decisions without their hands being held all the time.  It's a longing for respect, a respect that children don't, and shouldn't have.

So, sometimes this "God loves you" talk can seem just like a mother who can't let go of the image of her little son or daughter as kid.  God loves you, as a message, can seem like another person saying, "Johnny, it's too dangerous to cross the street, but don't worry, I'll hold your hand."

Yet, I still think teens respond to God's love, but it's love that comes alongside an adventurer.  A love that says, "This looks dangerous.  Let's do it.  You and I.  Ready?  Let's jump!" 

It's also a love that gives dignity to pain.  Teens want their concerns, their emotions to be given credit.  An example is how many teens feel that their romantic feelings are treated as silly by some adults.  I think they want others, God included, to respect their feelings.

And in that sense, I do think God loves the teen in a way they want.  He looks at your feelings, your rough and happy emotions, your desires, your hopes with respect.  He wants to carry you when you're down and cheer you on when you need to stand up and fight.  He also wants to pump you up with divine power to tackle the giants that face you in life.

All of this makes me think of a poem or something that the disciple John quotes in his letter called 1 John.  It's in chapter 1, verses 12-14

I write to you, dear children,
because your sins have been forgiven on account of his name.
I write to you, fathers,
because you have known him who is from the beginning.
I write to you, young men,
because you have overcome the evil one.
I write to you, dear children,
because you have known the Father.
I write to you, fathers,
because you have known him who is from the beginning.
I write to you, young men,
because you are strong,
and the word of God lives in you,
and you have overcome the evil one.

Notice that different aspects of God appeal to each person at different ages.  Young men, for example, relate to overcoming the evil one, having God's heart live in them, and being strong.

I'm very curious of your thoughts.  For those of you that are teens, do you relate to this or do you see it differently.  I'd love your feedback either in comments below or in person.

Slap a Bible Verse on it!

Some of you know my obsession with trains.  Well, I was looking at an old Trains magazine from the 1970s (I bought some old ones) and saw this locomotive with a Bible verse on it as the loco's number.  It was J33-3, which stands for Jeremiah 33:3. 

The verse reads:
"Call to me and I will answer you and show you great and mighty things that you do not yet know."

The railroad started in 1972.  Well, two years later...it closed. 

Part of me is impressed that whoever owned the railroad had a relationship with God that was important enough to slap a Bible verse on an engine.

The other part of me goes: this is what we Christians do all the time.

We slap a Bible verse on it.

We put them on our Christian school sports team shirts. 
We put them on our newsletters.
We make sure our holiday cards have one.
We slap them on our cars (or use a fish symbol).

The list goes on.

It's certainly not a bad thing, but does it really mean anything? 

I'm pretty sure nobody's life changed because of a Bible verse I wore on my T-shirt in high school.  Trust me; I wore plenty of them.

Instead, I hope people saw what my journey with God was doing to how I lived my life.  I was far from perfect, but I hope others were curious about me and my faith because the Holy Spirit was teaching me patience, gentleness, boldness, and kindness. 

Sometimes I think that many of us (like me in junior high) are just wearing shirts with Bible verses like Jesus said the Pharisees were "white-washed tombs."  We look good outside, but there's nothing really alive spiritually inside of us.

I'd rather live the heart of the Bible, than be a shell of a Christian with a Bible verse on my shirt.

Good Friday: What Was He Thinking?

When you are young you always hear about stuff that seems to be for older people.

Experiencing those things for yourself changes everything.

Earning money, getting a girlfriend or boyfriend, having your input matter on a family decision, shooting the winning basket, etc.

The cross was like this for me.  It was a big, general concept.

Jesus died for the whole world.

I knew it was important, but it was out there, ahead of me somehow.

In the summer of 1996, a series of frustrations led me into a situation where Father made the cross
very real.  It was that summer that I finally realized that Jesus' death on the cross was for me.  Not just the whole world, but me.

He had me on his mind when he was on the cross. 

Me.

The love that held him in that awful pain was love for me. 

He wanted nearness with me so badly.  Or, as the book of Hebrews puts it, "For the joy set before him, he endured the cross."  I was that joy.

For the first time in my life I felt utterly, completely, lavishly, fully
l o v e d.

But there was someone else he was thinking of on that cross:

you.

That is a very Good, Good Friday.

David, an evil man after God's own heart? 2

To conclude my part 1 reflections on David's crimes, I wanted to come to terms with why he still seems to be seen as unique.  This is my attempt:

So, what is left to love about David?  How in the world is a he a man after God's own heart?  Is God's heart this black? 

The first, most obvious assumption is that he indeed was a man after God’s heart, but didn’t remain so.  The famous phrase that labels David is given as a predictor of David’s character before he is chosen as a leader.  It was meant to distinguish him from Saul.  One could argue that, as David’s career continued, he didn’t continue to act as a man in tune with the heart of God.

Another answer is that Israel saw him as a man after God's heart because he was so successful in advancing and protecting their land.  This seems like a base compliment for military savvy, but one cannot underestimate the gift this was when you are trying to raise a family in a dangerous culture. 

Still, the statement that he is "after God's heart" is more affective.  It implies an internal state that David possessed that was of inestimable worth.  And I wonder if it is simply that he has an open heart.  This, despite his crimes, makes him different from so many other leader-kings of history.

The first sign of this open heart is that he turned the full torrent of his feelings toward his God.  The many Psalms he wrote attest that David was a man of honesty, not in the sense that he necessarily told others the truth, but that he approached God with his heart on his sleeve.  In this realm, he seemed to throw off propriety and ceremony, and basically, “lets God have it.”  From remorse to joy, from depression to ecstasy, and even onto anger, self-loathing, and hatred, David appears to hide nothing before the Lord.
 

This, to me, reveals something of the heart of God that not even the New Testament does quite as much justice to.  From David we are enjoined to “pour out your hearts before him, for he is our refuge.”  The greatest teaching of the Psalms has nothing to do with doctrine or even praise, in my opinion, but a loud call from the heart of God to us saying, “Come to me, wrestle with me, trust me with your full self!”  This is something that no other writer in the scriptures gives us in such fullness.

The second sign of David’s open heart is his willingness to change course.  Leaders must, by nature, make tough calls, but David, on numerous occasions, shows he is willing to reverse his decision when his heart is touched.

On his way, along with his fighting men, to kill Nabal who, by Scripture’s own admission was a fool, Nabal’s wife pleads a logical and heartfelt case to spare him.  David turns around.  Later, in a similar case, he banishes his rebellious son Absalom from his presence for years, but a common woman appeals to his heart as a parent and David permits Absalom’s return.

The most famous turn around of his life, of course, is seen when Nathan the prophet calls out David’s sin with Bathsheba and Uriah.  It would be par for the course for a King to slaughter a prophet who criticized him, but instead David mourns his own wickedness.

Finally, David, as unimportant as it sounds, has something immeasurably great: affection for God.  This is seen in his desire to build a house for the Lord.  While it might be as misguided a notion as Peter’s desire to build tents for Jesus, Moses, and Elijah on the mount of transfiguration, it does show David’s desire to bless his God.  He appeals to his own feelings, by saying in essence, “How can I live in this great palace when God lives in a tent?  Something’s not right here!”  The fact that he tries to relate to the Lord’s feelings reflects again the depth of David’s affection for God.  This is not a man who just wants to follow religious propriety or shamanism.  He truly loves God.

It is certainly easy to stand over David from such a distance and criticize him.  I live in a much different time, a more stable and safe era, when I can trust the might of my country’s military to protect my suburban home from harm.  I cannot possibly grasp what it was like to live in a largely tribal and uncertain world as existed in the time of King David.

Still, to label someone as a “man after God’s own heart,” one thinks there is something special there, and to find such a man involved in so many horrors, it makes one curious.  My conclusion is not that we absolve him of his crimes, but to look for what about the heart of God was revealed in the narrative and writings of his life.  To me this is the eager desire of God’s heart to welcome our full, unvarnished selves to him, and to interact with him with a humble, open heart.

I hope I, too, can be such a man.

David, an evil man after God's own heart?

David is a man after God's own heart.  How many times have I heard this?  This reference for him first shows up in God's rejection of Saul when God says he is going to choose someone to replace him that is a man after the Lord's heart.  In Acts, Paul quotes this classification in a message he delivers in a synagogue. 

To call him this title seemed so clear when I just read the Psalms.  Besides, I thought, and was taught, he's also relatable because he messed up: He did the whole Bathsheba and Uriah thing.  And, on top of that, he was repentant. 

But then I re-read David's story through Samuel and Kings for the first time in years.  The illicit relationship with Bathsheba and Uriah's murder is child's play compared to all the other things David did. 

-He killed two hundred men in order to get Michal as his wife.  He also cut off all of these dead mens' foreskins to give to Saul, as Saul requested. 

-He kills a lying messenger who claims to have killed Saul, but fails to discover that the guy didn't kill anyone. 

-David, for most of his reign, keeps a murderer named Joab employed as his general.  Joab kills opponents or people he dislikes left and right.  David only finally turns on him when Joab joins one of David's sons who intended to succeed David in his old age. 

-Two guys kill one of Saul's relatives thinking that this will make David happy.  It does not and, rightly, David accuses them of killing an innocent man.  But not only does David have them killed, but their hands and feet are hacked off and their bodies are hung up near a public place.
 

-After one defeat of the Philistines he has all of the conquered people lay down and measures them in groups.  For every group he spared, two more were executed.  The surviving people were made into slaves.  This sounds more like ISIS than a leader of God's people.

-While David marries Michal fair and square, Saul steals her and she marries another man, Palti.  Later David wants her back.  Palti weeps and follows her, clearly in love.  But she is ripped from him.  Then, in her pain and jealousy, Michal makes a pointed comment to David when he dances publicly in a worship parade of sorts.  He punishes her for the rest of her life, by never sleeping with her again and therefore leaving her childless, a humiliating curse in this time period.

-Just before his death he enjoins his son Solomon to make sure to follow the Lord's ways…and then provides Solomon with a hit list.  One of the people on the list includes a man, Shimei, who insulted David.  David also swore not to kill him.  Yet, now, David requests that Solomon "arrange a bloody death for him."

The implied accusation must be tempered with the fact that we cannot possibly know the reality of life and warfare of this time in history.  Granted, all kingdoms that seek to maintain stability and safety for their inhabitants must engage in some level of violence.  This is not the world as we wish it, but the world as it is.  While this pass, as it were, accounts for a great deal of David’s actions, it still does not acquiesce our indignation over rampant execution of innocents, personally ordered assassinations, degrading collections of human foreskins, or even manhandling of women.
 

So, what is left to love about David?  How in the world is a he a man after God's own heart?  Is God's heart this black? 

I will tell you my answer in part 2 next week.