"My Life Is a Joke" Reflections

These are some reflections on the poem “My Life Is a Joke.”  I don’t know if the author was writing out of personal experience or simply trying to express what others feel.  My thoughts are not directed at the original author at all, but to all of us.  In fact, I chose this poem because I feel that it taps into feelings that all of us have felt, whether others know it or not. 

“No one cares to ask.”  This is the crime of our time, or maybe of any time.  If there was one relationship skill I would teach to everyone, one life skill that trumps all others, I’d say it is this: the art of asking other people questions. 

I can’t tell you the number of times we’ve had people over for dinner at our house and were never asked a single question.  I’ve had friends who never pursue what I’m thinking, doing, feeling.  Most people just don’t ask.  I know people whose attitude is this, “Well, if they want to, they’ll tell me what’s going on.”  A lie.  People want to be asked.  Who wants to just jump into a conversation about the “demons trapped within” out of nowhere?

I’m not sure how I got used to asking questions, but somewhere along the line I learned it.  It may have been from some really good high school friends.  We liked to talk, do crazy things, hang out, go to haunted houses in October, laugh a lot, but we also did lots of talking.  I felt like I could really open up.  It was a lifeline for me.  We also all went to a Bible study where there was a time to share what was going on and have people pray for us.  Lots of us came primarily for this time. 

I have felt those “demons trapped within” as well.  They do feel like “monsters” inside me.  They can be routed out, though, often by simply talking.  We were made to live connected.  It is isolation that drives us insane.  The trouble in your teen years is that, for the first time, you are becoming aware of all the complexities of life and relationships like never before.  Yet, you may not have friendships that can talk on that level yet. 

What do you do?  Talk your guts out to your Friend, the Holy Spirit.  I love this line in Psalm 62, “Pour out your hearts before Him, because He is your refuge.”  Yet, I do believe the Father’s heart is for us also to need close human relationships.  You may need to take the risk to open up to a friend, a family member, a boyfriend or girlfriend, someone you look up to, a teacher, a youth pastor, or someone else. 

I know that you will fear being hurt or betrayed or feel like you’re annoying.  Certainly, you have to choose well.  If someone has a track record of hurting you, don’t trust them with your vulnerability.  If you're not sure, share some smaller things to see how they react.  Yet, most honest people feel truly honored when we open up to them.  There is something very special that happens when someone knows you trusted them enough to open up. 

I think you may find that it will be less painful than the “blood seeping from your skin.”  You will find that you are, indeed “wanted” and not “alone.”  You will see that dead dreams can be raised back to life and that your life is not, at all, even for a moment, a joke.