How to date and not lose yourself

My analogy wasn’t exactly right last time.  I said that “There’s one basket, though, that is more important than any of these and has helped me weather every storm.  It’s the one that is tied onto my wrist and never drops.”

It’s not really on my wrist.  It’s not just another basket in my hands.  I realize that I am IN this basket. 

Your soul, your inmost being, the you of yous, like your body, can get tired when stuff hits it.  Relationships are full of hurts.  Even good ones!  When two people are trying to get along and share life together, you will indeed hurt each other (For good relationships they learn to use the process of hurt, forgiveness, and reconciliation draw them closer).

Obviously, break ups hurt, but even when a dating relationship is going well, you are two people with differences and those differences will sometimes hurt each other. 

That is tiring to the soul. 

Sometimes you can feel worn out, like you have no more left to give.  Or you may really think the person you are dating is worth it, but you don’t know how to get past an issue that the two of you are facing.  You are tired.

So when those egg baskets fall and break, you may fall too.  What will hold you up?  Where will your tired soul go?

David, in a song he wrote, has the answer for me.  “My soul finds rest in God alone.” 

If your soul is rested in God…

…you still have something to live for if you get dumped.

…you can forgive your boyfriend’s stupid comment.

…you can keep loving your girlfriend when she’s in a bad mood.

…you can still be ‘ok’, even if you and your boyfriend are having issues.

…you don’t have to be so crazy jealous of everything your girlfriend does without you.

…you can know that you are still loved and important even if you don’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend.

…you can survive betrayal and have the strength to find love again someday.

None of these things are easy and they will hurt.  But the song (from Psalm 62) goes on to say, “Pour out your hearts to Him, for God is our refuge.”  Let your soul rest inside God’s basket and you’ll feel much safer trying to carry the other ones.