Guilty of Lust? Part 2

Here's the rest of the quote from Is It Lust or Legalism by Brad Watson.

In Jesus' teaching, the man who compromises the marriage of another has a heart tainted by sin.  He has acted out of a heart filled with sinful lust and a spirit of adultery.  The lust is not there in his heart because of a night dream, a mental picture, or even a sexual fantasy.  He is not guilty because of sexual desire, but because he has made a heart decision to pursue a sinful course of action by making unlawful sexual advances on someone else's wife.  Even if he never fully succeeds in "going all the way," in Jesus' book, he is still an adulterer - maybe not physical adultery, but certainly an "adultery of the heart." 

Up to this point we have been discussing the unlawful pursuit of married women.  What about chasing after a married man, someone might ask?  In Biblical times it was lawful for a man to have multiple wives, so unmarried women could legally pursue marriage to men that were already married.  This is why the Law only referenced adultery as a sin which occurred with a married woman.  In today's society, with polygamy outlawed in most places, adultery would obviously include illicit pursuit of a married man as well as chasing after a wedded wife.

Interestingly, however, this scripture really has nothing directly to say about courting or dating behavior between unmarried people.  Many young people with hormones raging have been confused and discouraged by this passage.  How can they even pursue a spouse in a godly way without becoming sexually aroused to some degree?  And how can single people who are "looking" for a spouse keep from looking longingly into the eyes of someone with whom they are developing a loving relationship?  Thankfully, Jesus was not outlawing arousal, desire, or dating.  He was simply making the point that going after someone else's spouse was adultery from the start.  It violated God's law of love by underminding a marriage covenant and stealing from someone else.  But pursuing a romantic relationship with someone that is unmarried should not be considered wrong as long as it is free from manipulation or control and is properly submitted to godly counsel and authority.

(On a side note, I'm not sure what he means by "submitted to godly counsel and authority."  I'm assuming its a fancy way of saying that you have to be smart not to blow off good people's-those who know and love you-opinions when it comes to who you are dating.  When you're in love it's hard to hear what you don't want to hear.)