Top Teen Topics: Appearance #2

I love the Bible for many reasons, but one is because, despite what so many of us think, it is a very realistic book.  It doesn’t fit into easy holes, and the subject of appearance is great example. 

True or False: Appearance doesn’t matter.

If you read The Song of Solomon in the Bible, you find a book of romantic, even erotic poetry.  Two lovers meet and praise each other.  They do not spend their time speaking of the other’s wonderful personality traits.  Instead, they praise each other’s appearance over and over again. (It interesting to note that what attracts, changes per person, per culture, per time frame.  For example, the man praises his wife’s round tummy and her teeth!). 

Now, this is not the whole story, of course.  The same author, Solomon, later writes in Proverbs 31 of a woman he considers beyond compare.  There he describes her accomplishments and character, not her looks. 

Just like the Bible, we all know it is both.  An attractive, but self-absorbed person is fun to flirt with, but not marry.  Yet without some attention to one’s appearance, the opposite sex may not be curious to know about a person’s character.

Yet, again, here is Father’s wisdom.  In one of the most striking statements in regards to our looks, He says this, “The Lord does not look at the things people look at.  People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart” (1 Samuel 16:7). 

This comes from a section where they are trying to choose the next king of Israel and all of David’s brothers fit a more “kingly” look: bigger, stronger, tougher, taller.  Yet, little David, the young kid is the one God chooses, because of his heart.

Let’s not assume that God is saying “things people look at” are wrong.  He designed us to like the look of people.  He’s not saying we should ignore looks.  He’s saying He, God, is different.  He does not judge, nor reckon VALUE based on appearance. 

And this is a challenge to us: to strive not to judge people’s value based on appearances.  I don’t know if it works the same for girls, but as a guy, and guys are strongly visual, it is natural in a group to want to associate with the more attractive people, but that implies that they are more valuable. 

Now usually, I would say that a difference is in romantic attraction, yet, sometimes we need to be careful there too.  Many people were not attracted initially to someone, but found themselves attracted AFTER they got to know someone.  It’s weird how it works, but it actually happens a lot in life. 

I feel like this post goes so many ways, but, again, that is the beauty of real life, versus fake life: it is complex. 

If you’re interested in more on this subject, I wrote about it here and here and here and here.