Be a Christian, break a law

What do both Jean Valjean and Tori Smith have in common?  They broke laws.  Valjean is the main character in Les Mis that we’re watching in class (or in the musical film that came out last at Christmas).  Tori Smith’s story was the article that some of you read in class about how she loved her husband after he lost his legs in Afghanistan serving in the military.

Valjean breaks the law left and right.  He doesn’t agree with Javert, the police authority, when he arrests Fantine.  He evades arrest when Valjean’s true identity is revealed.  He sneaks into the city of Paris and hides from the law.  The list could go on. 

When Tori’s husband is brought back in critical condition from Afghanistan and put in a hospital, she is told that she is not allowed to remain in the room.  She refuses to leave.  She breaks the laws of that hospital.

Why did they do these things?  Because they loved.  Valjean understood what it was like to be unfairly treated so he stood up and cared for Fantine.  His heart went out to the orphan Cosette so much that he evaded arrest in order to protect her.  Tori refused to follow hospital laws because love for her husband, and desire to be at his side at his toughest hour, was greater than her willingness to follow rules. 

I especially love Tori’s story because she breaks the social laws that we all feel.  You know the unwritten rules that people around us have.  Things that would have told someone like Tori: you deserve better.  Your husband can’t bring you happiness as a cripple.  It’s okay to move on.  All her actions cry out a decisive: NO!  I love him. 

I know all of you in your teen life feel these unwritten rules around you.  I feel them as an adult too.  But I want to choose love over ‘saving face.’  I know it’s hard and I don’t always come through either.  I remember when I was in high school that there were some people that I became friends with that weren’t the popular people.  The unwritten laws say, “Choose friends that get you places.”  But as God got ahold of my heart I wanted to love, to reach out to people who were open, people who were in touch with their needs.  So, I learned to love and ignore the rules of the ‘world’ around me. 

But let me say, there have been many times that I have not loved.  I admire my wife so much because she is so quick to reach out to people, even people she doesn’t know.  Doing that is often hard for me.  Sometimes I feel silly or weird, but she inspires me to push myself. 

So, let’s be social law breakers, eh?  Oddly enough there’s someone else who did this a whole lot.  It was a guy who lived in Galilee.  Law breakers are in good company.

I Don't Want to be Jesus

I was about eleven when I walked into a Kmart with my mom and committed my crime.  I saw it: a Transformer toy of a robot that changed into a cassette.   I tore it out of the package when my mom was in another aisle and shoved it into my pocket.  After we exited the store I convinced my mom that I found it near the parking lot.  Apparently, Transformers were worth breaking the law in my eleven-year-old mind!

I grew up playing with Transformers and watching the cartoon.  Robots that changed into everyday machines so they could disguise themselves were awesome!

I used to think God wanted us to be Transformers too.  Once He got ahold of our lives I was told He would transform me to be like Him.  People would say things like, “I don’t want people to see me; I want them to see Jesus,” or before speaking in church or chapel they would pray, “Let these be Your words, not mine.”  

I guess God didn’t really care for me.  I was just in the way.  If He could just morph me into Him the world would be changed! 

I get what these phrases mean, but they give a wrong impression.  I’m thinking Father designed you very specifically, and He’s not interested in pushing that in the background so that you can be another  
assembly line Jesus action figure.

No.  In you there dwells the glory and beauty of who you were lovingly formed to be. 

So, I don’t want to be Jesus.  I want to be the me that Jesus designed.

But, we all know that it is sometimes hard to let that shine.  There are so many things working against us.  We want to be self-absorbed, impatient, jerky, smart-alecy, self-serving hoarders. 

But that’s not the real you. 

Father draws out the real you.  The real you in all its glory.  The you that wants to love, to bless, to take risks, to make people laugh, to touch a life, to be adventurous, to make an impact, to be kind, to stand up to evil, to be awesome at something. 

That you can be covered over by the false you, the you that you wear to protect yourself or to help you fit in.  No.  That’s not the fullness of you that Father delights in.

Over the years since I first let myself follow Jesus, I have transformed, but I see that I didn’t become less me.  I have been coming into the fullness of who that Designer had in mind.  And I know that I am exactly who I am because the Kurt version of Jesus in the world is one that only I can offer.

A Wounded Soldier's Love Story (Andrew & Tori Smith)

This is a cool video I found that goes through Tori and Andrew's story.  Wow.  This is love, man.  It's also cool to see how God has given them strength through it all.  Enjoy!

Frozen & Mr. Banks

When I first became a Jesus follower in high school I was amazed at the depth of wisdom about life that I found in Scripture, and all things "Christian."  I quickly assumed there was no wisdom elsewhere, that God could be heard only through the voices of His followers (and, of course, His followers that agreed with my perspectives). 

And then there was Paolo Coehlo.

I began to devour nearly everything this mystical novelist published.  Here's the weird part: God met me in deep, profound ways when I read Coehlo's books, ways that still affect me today.  I began to see that the voice of my Father could be heard all around me and often I can tell when it's Him.

I recently saw two movies that touched me, and made it hard for me, in my manliness, to hide the fact that I was tearing up.

The first was Frozen.

Yes, my world of five girls makes Disney movies part of my life's fabric.  Because the young princess Elsa has a confusing power to freeze things, her parents are forced to keep her isolated from everyone, including her sister Anna, with whom she once was very close. 

Neither Anna's parents, nor Elsa herself, ever explained to her why her sister had to be kept apart.  This is the part that moved me: Anna, instead of writing off her sister because of her coldness, fights for, and ultimately sacrifices what she longs for, for their love.  In the climax of the film, she has the chance to get the guy she loves to kiss her and save her, but she chooses to give up that chance so her sister can live. 

How many times have I written people off because I didn't understand them, because I didn't know their story?  How many times have I looked down on people for something without considering that it may have been great pain that is the cause. 

This leads to the other movie: Saving Mr. Banks.  It's the story of the woman who wrote Mary Poppins.  The movie consists of many flashbacks to her childhood where she recalls the father that she loved so dearly, but who was painfully addicted to alcohol. 

Here is a woman with a past, a story that explains a great deal about how she is as an adult.  It struck me just how much of a legacy her father left on her.  It was indeed a legacy, though, a legacy of shame, guilt, and sadness. 

None of us can leave a perfect legacy, but, oh God, let us strive to leave an

honest, good one.  I can think of it now with my kids, but for you guys you are leaving legacies too to your siblings, your family, your friends, your boyfriend or girlfriend, and your classmates.  No one really hides their light under a bushel.  The question is what kind of light are you giving off?

Wisdom comes in my surprising places.  This time it was the movie theater.

To Be Great

From a book I read:

Be great in your own city, your own neighborhood, and most importantly, your own family.

Be someone who relies on character and honor to lead and there will be no bounds to what you can accomplish.

-Glenn Beck

Combating Pre Test Jitters with Your Brain’s Own Tools

[Hey, everyone, I met a guy named Brice in college and we became really tight and still are to this

day.  He is presently an author and a guy who actually gets paid to write blogs!!!  For the humor of it, the pic at the right is from our college days when we both had hair.  Brice is to the left of me.  I recently asked him to write a little post about dealing with exam anxiety.  So, here it is.  Enjoy!]

It’s finals and you show up at school with no books, no idea where the classroom is and, by the way: you don’t have any clothes on!

Have you ever had this dream? Showing up on test day completely unprepared?

No? Well, good for you. You’ll do fine on the upcoming test.

For the rest of us who have been there: there’s still hope.

The underwear-before-a-test dream is your brain’s way of working out the feeling of unpreparedness. But don’t worry! It doesn’t mean that you ARE unprepared, necessarily. It could simply mean that deep in the recesses of your grey matter you have forgotten a minor fact. Like the name of your friend’s pet hamster.

Our minds have been fascinatingly and wonderfully created. They are as intricate as any computer and able to hold massive amounts of information. The problem is that we can’t always get to that information. Why? Because we are not putting the info in the right places.

When I was little, before we moved to our new house, my parents had a “junk drawer”. I can remember opening that drawer only to find what looked like an “eye spy” picture. Anything and everything—useless and important—all thrown together in a mash of chaos.

Think of your brain as a big, grey, squishy drawer organizer. Hundreds of little sections for lots of different things. A section for faces; another for names; one for foods you can’t stand and still another for useless facts that you remembered the night before your big test.

That junk drawer is what your brain-drawer looks like the night before your big test. The reason? You shoved a bunch of information in at the last minute and went to sleep leaving your brain to sort it all out. The underwear dream is just your mind’s way of kicking you for making it put all that stuff away. And it might need to toss some older information to make room for the new stuff. So: there goes Hammie the hamster and where you put that piece of broccoli you were supposed to eat… and, oh yeah: that you need to get dressed in the morning!

Hello anxiety!

But there is still hope of not arriving to class naked. Certain things don’t need to be remembered all the time. Our brains do something called “Object Location Memory” where it brings up a necessary memory from deep within our minds when we see objects throughout our day. For instance: when you see the shower handle, you know that turning it one way is hot. Not because you need to remember that going into the bath, but because as soon as you see that handle, your brain pulls the memory up and applies it. So you won’t have to remember to get dressed because once you see the closet door, as you do every morning, you will go into automatic memory recall.

One last thing I’ll leave you with that will help you with that information you are cramming into your brains right now: there is a memorization method, used since the Roman empire, that taps into this innate sense of object location. It is called the method of loci. It’s a way to trick your brain into drumming up the stuff you memorized for your big test. In a sense, you are organizing that drawer before you go to sleep. Simply “attach” a fact you need to remember to a specific item in your bedroom- say your dresser. Then, when you are trying to remember the answer to 37, you just bring up the dresser in your mind and wham: the fact comes back to you! You can work your way around the room for up to 20 items! Pick the biggest topics you have difficulty with and stick them to your stuff.

By taking the time to organize the information, instead of just pushing it willy-nilly into your head, you can get a peaceful nights rest and still make it to school fully clothed. Now… where did I put my socks?

Brice Bunner

    Author, writer, Pagefiller.
    Follow me @babunner and check out my blog: Fall Down; Go Boom

    My second ebook just hit the e-shelves! Check it out. 

Living Together-Why Not?

Imagine that you just got married.  That's a big deal!

You and your new wife run into a friend who, with a big smile, hugs you and asks, "So, newlyweds, how's married life?!"

Your wife replies, "It has been great!"

Now, do it again: imagine you just got married.

You and your new wife run into a friend, who, with a big smile, hugs you and asks, "So, newlyweds, how's married life?!"

Your wife replies, matter-of-factly, "Same as it was before."

Wo...that's deflating at best.

Guess what?  Both of these happened to my wife and me recently.  We asked that question to two different newlyweds in two different situations.

Can you guess the difference between these two?

The second couple lived together before they married.

I grew up hearing this example: having sex before you're married is like unwrapping your presents before Christmas morning.

But, living together, is like unwrapping your presents and playing with them for months, even years before jolly Santa arrives.

I know I'm going against the grain of the world we're all living in.  Moving in with a significant-other is just the "way people do it" it seems.

But I pray that you have the courage, and enough love for your own joy, that you will wait to open your presents on the special, mystical, blessed day called your wedding.

Freaking about Finals

If you look at some of my previous posts you'll see I've blogging about how to be "Ok."  When we let Father be our cup-filler, our source of peace, love, contentment, then we can give to and enjoy the people, places, and things in our lives, instead of using them to make us feel whole. 

Here's how I think this principle can play out in a real life situation: final exams. 

When you're afraid of something (that is not physically dangerous), the fear you feel is ultimately about how it will affect how you see yourself and how others will see you.  Going into exams there are a lot of expectations.  For many it is the expectations of parents that you fear.  If you don't do well, how will they perceive you?  You may also fear the judgment of your teachers.  Finally, there's always the fear of how you will feel about your own abilities.  Do you cut it?  Are you good enough?  How will you measure up to everyone else?

All of these questions come down to: whose opinion will fill your cup?  I suggest you face the fear of finals, the same way you can face every other fear: Because I am deeply loved and enjoyed in my soul of souls by Father, my life has meaning and value, and nothing will change that. 

If you can let yourself trust in your Rock, then you can face the reality of the world: yes, my achievement matters in life.  But, see it doesn't matter ULTIMATELY, meaning in the most crucial sense-your sense of safety and value. 

So, yes, go and study your brains out, but enjoy learning (as much as is possible of course!).  I pray you can do well and reflect what you've learned this semester, but, in the end, even if you don't do well, and even if some people are disappointed with your performance, choose to fill your cup with your Father's love. 

Feeling OK about me - Part 3

A couple posts ago I talked about your life as a cup.  We don't want to feel empty, so we tend to fill it

with people, places, and things.  Yet, all of those are shaky.  Instead, filling our cup with God is more reliable and then allows people, places, and things to be overflow.  How does that work?

As a teen, there were so many pressures.  I felt I needed to please so many people from my parents to my teachers to my friends.  For me, when someone was proud of me I felt at peace, but when someone was mad at me or disappointed, I quickly felt unworthy.

Then, I began to fill my cup with my Father.  The simple fact that He cared about me, helped me.

When I was worried that my parents would be upset with me, I was able to hang onto that fact the God was with me and I would be okay.

When a girlfriend dumped me (and they all did.  I seemed to never be able to be the one to call it quits even when I should have), it hurt badly, but I knew there was still me and God.

When I was worried about the future whether because of some dating relationship, or college decision, I knew the truth that I could, "cast [my] cares upon Him, for He cares for you" 1 Peter 5:7

I wrote that verse all over my notebooks throughout high school.  It was a perspective-altering truth.  My life was very important...to Him.  He cared for it, for me.  It doesn't promise things to work the way I want all the time.  But it promises Father's commitment to care for me.

Making Father my cup-filler didn't mean I didn't get a lot of crap.  I still cried when I got dumped, got

hurt by family and friends, felt nervous before tests, and all the other things that happen to real-life people.  But I had a rock to build my life upon, not sinking sand.

In an upcoming post I'll comment on how this perspective also helps bring freedom and meaningful happiness to your human relationships too.