What a Guy Needs

"Kids are in the mood, mom and dad are too, to sit down at a Friendly's for a meal that is good food. Burgers good to order, Friendly fries to eat, a famous Friendly sundae can be a good treat..."

I still remember reciting the entire wording of this Friendly's restaurant commercial in front of my mom and dad over 20 years ago (and I still remember it today!). My mom was so impressed that I could recall every word! This may seem so insignificant, but if you're a guy you can probably know why this was so momentous: we live off of admiration and appreciation like car lives off gasoline.

Every man wants to be impressive to someone else. They want to be a hero, a rescuer, a knight in shining armor. Whenever I need help carrying something heavy around the school for whatever reason, guys in a study hall leap to the opportunity. When a teacher has a computer issue, it is often a guy student who is eager to fix it.

This also explains a problem women sometimes have with guys. When girls have a problem and they
share it with a guy friend, a boyfriend, or even their dad, for example, she really just wants him to listen. However, she gets annoyed because he wants to fix the problem, instead of letting her get her feelings out. On one hand, yes, we men have to learn how to 'just listen.' Still, girls should also realize that trying to 'fix it' is a natural way for a guy to show love; he wants to be your hero.

A guy who doesn't receive much admiration and appreciation is going to go downhill. If he is constantly criticized or ignored, he will shrivel. He will look desperately for a place to find that admiration. That could be a positive place, or a negative one.

If you're a girl, is there a guy in your life who is annoying you, maybe a brother, maybe a boyfriend?

It may be that he feels he has nothing to offer you because he can't make you happy. Whether he realizes it or not, that's what he wants. He wants to be your hero somehow. Consider trying to find ways for him to help you (and actually tell him. Girls, men honestly can't just tell what you want without informing them). And then, praise the heck out of him. I may be wrong and it may flop. But I will take a guess that you may be surprised at how this could turn a little boy into a man (or just make him more pleasant to be around).

If you're a guy, recognize and affirm that God made you to be a hero. It's written into your core, so go be it and don't be ashamed. Look for the ways that He has made you unique, the ways that He has designed you to be a hero in the way only you can.

It may be shooting hoops, constructing a theatre set, helping with dishes, kicking butt on your homework, helping your sister with math, designing new worlds, fixing computers, helping out at church, dreaming of a cure for cancer, creating a fundraiser for a sick friend, cutting your grandparents' lawn, rooting your girlfriend on at her volleyball game, talking about your faith to your friends, leading a devotion before practice, and on and on. Whatever it may be, go be a knight, kill some dragons, and rescue a princess (even if she's just your sister).

P.S. I know I focused on guys wanting to receive admiration and appreciation from girls, but I think they also need it from men in their lives.  If you don't get it from dad, find it in someone else like a coach, teacher, relative, or friend's dad.